Your Saving Grace
by Aurorazilla
Summary: "You don't know where you're going, but you know that, as long as Santana is with you, you're safe and happy." Brittany is in love with a ghost named Santana. When Brittany's sister dies and she begins being abused, she gets closer and closer to the edge of sanity. When she snaps, can Santana save her? Triggers: suicidal thoughts, self-harm, abuse, etc.


**This is just a random depressing little thing I started writing. It's a little sad, but I like it. So I'm gonna post it because I want to see if anybody likes it :P**

**I hope you enjoy reading! Please review!**

* * *

The storm outside frightens you with its loud, booming thunder. What scares you even more is the yelling downstairs and the sound of hitting. Dad and mom are fighting again.

They're both useless drunks anyway.

But it still hurts that you're practically dead to them. Ever since your little sister, Summer, died in a car accident mom and dad have been drinking a lot. They blame themselves, each other, and you. You don't understand it most of the time.

But sometimes, times like this, you get it.

How can you mourn a loved one's death knowing they were the only one who survived in such an accident?

Yes, you, mom, and dad were the only survivors. Summer was the one who was killed on impact.

But who was to blame?

Surely it should have been that other driver who didn't stop at the light, right? Or was it your fault, for laughing so hard with her that your dad had to turn around to tell you to quiet down so he could drive?

Either way, you all blame each other and yourselves.

To make matters worse, you're a loser at your school. You get bullied everyday. You're stupid, weird, and let others get the best of you.

But, there is _one_ ray of sunshine in your life.

You feel the coldness of her beside you and you turn with a wide grin. "Santana!"

"Hey, Britt-Britt." Santana smiles at you.

Santana died in this house long ago. When you moved in at the beginning of the year, she always pranked you and got you into trouble. But the day of the accident, you two clicked.

You don't know why only you can see her. Well, you do: She's a ghost. But you don't know why only _you_ can see her. Are you special? You're not sure. But you're glad she was your saving grace.

The electricity you feel when she's close makes you giddy and you don't completely understand why.

"You okay?" She asks softly.

You look down at one of your freshest cuts on your wrist, because you know that's what she was talking about.

"No," you finally sigh quietly.

"What happened at school?"

"Quinn Fabray... again..." You frown.

"Britt, you gotta stand up for yourself." Santana encourages. "You can't let them push you around."

"But I'm already so broken," you whimper, "and they'll only tear me down more."

"I wish I was still alive," Santana frowns. "I would teach those assholes not to mess with _my_ unicorn."

You smile. Santana is your bestest friend. She never calls you stupid, she helps you with your homework, she listens to your secrets, she's everything to you. And you're everything to her, too.

"I wish you were, too," you reply quietly.

She wraps her arms around you, but they hover over your skin. She can go through you, so it's the best you two can do.

You crave her touch. You crave it more than you've ever craved anything before – even the blade.

You want – no, _need_ – to feel her skin against yours. She makes you so happy and you don't understand why.

At a crack of thunder, you jump.

"It's okay, Britty, I'll protect you," Santana murmurs softly.

You remember the first day you moved in...

* * *

_You walked into the house shyly. It was smaller than your old one in California. You climbed to your new room and set your final box of things down._

_ "Who are you?" Somebody scoffed behind you._

_ You turned around to see a petite Latina leaning against your door. She looked about your age._

_ "Hello!" You greeted kindly. "I'm Brittany. I just moved here. How did you get here?"_

_ The girl smirked and in a swift breeze your door was shut and locked. "You _really_ want to know?"_

_ You nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, please!"_

_ In a flash, you were forced into her memory._

_ You watched as a man approached her, tall and looming._

_**"How dare you bring sin into this house?!"**__ He boomed._

_**"Papi, I'm so sorry!"**__She gasped. __**"Please, don't hurt me!"**_

_ You felt her pain as he punched her over and over. He kicked her. He slammed into her._

_ You literally _felt_ her pain. You gasped for air when you had enough. After what felt like hours, the pain got almost unbearable. And then a door slammed. You felt her life drain from her body as she lay there motionless on the floor._

_ "I'm dead." The girl stated simply._

_ "But... how are you standing there?" You questioned._

_ She shrugged. "I'm a ghost. You're in_ my_ house and _my_ room."_

_ "Oh, well, sorry," you smiled apologetically. "My parents moved here and brought me and my sister Summer along so I can't move out or anything."_

_ She smirked. "We'll see about that."_

_ In a rush of cold air, she was gone._

* * *

"So, Britt, guess what?" Santana begins excitedly.

"What?" You question.

"Your parents are splitting up! You won't hear them argue anymore!" She gives you a smile.

You tilt your head with a sad pout. "But... which one will I go with?"

"Go?" She raises her eyebrows. "Oh... I-I guess a three-bedroom house _would_ be too much for just a parent and their daughter."

"Don't worry, Sanny," you smile at her. "I'm not leaving."

She smiles in return. "Good."

You lay down to sleep with Santana at your side, laying down, too. You're glad she's your best friend, now. You drift off to sleep only to enter your most painful memory.

* * *

_ "Britty, can we play Funny Face?" Summer begs._

_ You playfully roll your eyes and face her with your tongue sticking out._

_ She giggles and returns a funny face, wrinkling her nose and stretching out her cheeks. This goes back and forth until you both are laughing hysterically loud._

_ "Girls, girls!" Dad scolds, turning around in his seat. "This is the last time I'm saying it: quiet. Down."_

_ You look out of the window to see you're about to go passed an intersection. It's empty and you see a single large mac truck heading towards the stop sign._

_ It doesn't stop. It keeps coming. It's on your right side, on Summer's side. _

_ Suddenly everything goes in slow motion. You watch helplessly as your dad keeps going, still facing you two._

_ "Dad!" Summer screams suddenly._

_ The car jolts to the side and you slam into your door, your head hitting the glass window. A loud _crash_ hits your ears and soon you can't hear at all._

_ You only hear a ringing as you feel the car flip in circles. Something warm is on your skin and it's liquidy and it terrifies you._

_ The sound of metal tearing apart reaches your ears then the ringing gets worse._

_ And then... nothing._

_ You're suddenly warped back to your room. The Latina from when you first moved in – whose name you later found out was Santana after some digging around in your school yearbook archives – was sitting on your bed._

_ She looks up at you, startled. Her eyes are wide._

_ "Oh god, what happened?" She asks, standing up._

_ You stand there in shock for a moment. How did you get here? Then it hits you: the car accident. The crushing metal. The truck. Your small car. Your knees buckle under you and Santana leans down and embraces you as you cry._

_ The feel of her skin is exhilarating to you. It's like thousands of sparks are flying off of her skin onto yours. She's so warm and comforting._

_ "W-Why am I here?" You whimper._

_ "Brittany, I know you don't want to hear it, but, you're dead." She murmurs gently._

_ You crack again. More tears fall. "I d-don't want to b-be dead. S-Summer needs me."_

_ A shimmer of light appears in front of you and you see Summer. You stand up from Santana and she stands up too._

_ "Summer, no!" You sob._

_ She hugs you tightly, her blonde hair matching yours. Her eyes are a deep jade green – like your mother's – and she's looking into your ocean blue eyes with so much love it hurts you._

_ "It's not your time yet, Britty." She smiles sadly at you._

_ "But... but it's not yours... it can't be!" You protest. "Y-You're only nine... you c-can't leave."_

_ "Take care of mom and dad, Britty. I love you." She kisses your cheek and you sob again._

_ "I love you, too." You whisper._

_ She separates from you and your grandmother appears, as well. She takes your sisters hand and look out to a bright light._

_ Summer suddenly turns to look at Santana. "Why don't you come?"_

_ "Because I have to stay here," the Latina replies quietly._

_ "Don't let hate make you stay here," grandmother says to the brunette._

_ "It's not hate that keeps me here anymore," Santana looks at you shyly. "It's... something else. Something wonderful."_

_ Grandmother nods sadly. "Bye, girls. I love you, Brittany."_

_ Then they're gone. You turn to Santana. "We... you don't hate me?"_

_ "I could never hate you, Britt-Britt." She smiles at you softly. "I'll see you when you get home."_

_ "What-" you begin but soon you're jolted to life and men are standing over you._

_ "She's alive!" He shouts and puts something to your face. You breathe in oxygen and look around, confused._

_ That was when you saw them carry a body bag – a small one – to a black truck._

_ Your heart clenches. "Summer! No!"_

* * *

At school, you're bullied once more. But when you get home, it gets worse.

Dad started hitting you. Actually _hitting_ you. You bled and cried for him to stop, but he didn't until he huffed, out of breath, and left to a bar.

When you run upstairs with uncontrollable sobs, Santana is there for you.

It's all your fault. It's because of you he's doing this. And the girl who's trying to comfort you is the one person you trust in the world.

Everybody hates you.

But she's there for you, still.

You stand up and go to the blade.

"Brittany, stop, please!" Santana pleads. "You're better than this."

The pain in your wrist calms you down and you watch the blood with mild interest.

"Santana..." you whisper hoarsely.

"What is it, Britt-Britt?" She asks quietly.

You sink to the floor of your bathroom.

"I can't take it anymore." It comes out as a broken whisper.

You're sick of the torture. Why does everybody have to hate you? You didn't do anything to them! What is about you that makes them think you're some stupid _freak_?!

"Brittany, please, don't," Santana reaches out but her hand goes through you.

It hurts you more than you can even describe. For some reason, you want to feel her. You want to touch Santana like that day you died. You want to feel the sparks electrify your skin.

"I need to be with you... I need to feel you..." You whimper.

"Please, don't kill yourself," she sheds a single tear that you wish you could wipe away but you can't.

"Why?" You question.

"Because... I love you, Brittany." She sniffles. "And I don't want you to throw your life away."

"I love you, too," you're shocked as the words leave your mouth, but then you realize you're right. You love her. You love her so much it hurts.

"Then don't go." She smiles at you sadly. "I'll wait for you."

"Where'd you get those bruises, freak?" Quinn snarls, stepping towards you. Your back hits the locker behind you and you gulp nervously. "You're such a faker. You cut for attention you fucking slut."

You feel tears threaten to spill from your eyes. "S-Stop..."

"What was that?"

"Stop." You say slightly more confidently.

She snorts and within seconds slushies are thrown your way.

You run to the bathroom, wash yourself up, and run out of school.

You need to run. Run away. But you can't leave Santana.

It's been six months since your dad hit you the first time. And he keeps doing it. It's like a sport for him. And each time, Santana tries her best to calm you. She even tried to push him away from you. But it didn't work.

Your cuts get deeper and deeper each time. Your night terrors are worse and worse and it's harder and harder not to give up.

Santana tells you every chance she gets she loves you. You'll be in bed and she'll start singing "Songbird", a song that helps lull you to sleep.

Every morning, she murmurs "I love you" until you wake up.

You love her. You want her. But you can't have her because she's dead and you're not.

As you run into the pouring rain, you think of how nice it is when it rains. It's nice because nobody can tell when you're crying.

So as you run towards your house, you only have one thing on your mind: Santana.

You need to be with her.

You can't take this torment. It's too much. You're sick of the names, of the slushies, of everything.

Not even Glee Club makes you happy anymore.

In class, you daydream of having Santana by your side. You know if she was alive you'd do everything together. You'd be cheerleaders, maybe. And she'd be in Glee Club and teach Rachel Berry how to _really_ sing.

You'd win nationals – both cheer and Glee Club nationals – and be at each others sides until the end.

You'd take her out on a date, maybe to your favorite restaurant Breadstix – which you _know_ she'd love because she enjoys breadsticks and they have the best kind – and you'd bring her home. You'd cuddle and watch Sweet Valley High – a show you both watch already, but it'd be nice to get your cuddle on.

You can't help the "what if's" that swarm your mind.

What if you got married? What if you had kids? What if _you_ had died instead of Summer? Would you still have fallen in love with the Latina?

As you hurry across the street, you don't notice the car that's heading towards you.

Pain fills your body for a moment, but then you're back in your room. You're not soaking anymore.

Actually... why are you here?

"Oh no..." Santana shimmers in front of you and you see tears fall from her cheeks. "B-Brittany... no... no no..."

She breaks down and leans into you.

You gasp at the feel of her skin. It's warm against yours.

You can feel her.

That can only mean one thing.

You're dead. You're dead and you can _finally_ be with her forever.

"San," you whisper and wrap your arms around her waist.

She looks at you with watery brown eyes.

"Santana, I love you more than I've ever loved anyone in this world." You murmur. "I don't care if I'm dead. As long as I'm with you, I couldn't be happier. My life was going nowhere anyway. It's for the best, though, isn't it?"

She starts sobbing again and you stroke her raven hair – which is just as soft as you dreamed it would be – while whispering soothing words.

"Y-You c-can't be dead." She whimpers. "I-I need you to live. For both of us."

"I was already dead," you say darkly and she looks into your eyes once more.

"I love you, Brittany," she sniffles.

You smile and lean in and kiss her. Her lips are soft and plump against your own. Sparks fly. That's the only way to describe it to you. You're buzzing with electricity as you move your lips against hers. She kisses back passionately and when you both pull away, you have smiles on your faces.

"I've been wanting to do that since the first day I met you," you whisper.

"Now we can be together... forever." She says just as quietly.

You hear a knock at the front door. You walk through your opened doorway and move down the stairs to see your mother break down in front of a police officer.

"Your daughter, Brittany Susan Pierce, was hit by a car. She died on impact." The man says sadly. "We're so sorry for your loss."

Your mom cries on the ground in a crumpled mess as your dad slams the door shut.

For the first time in ages, they embrace each other.

Santana sends you a look of encouragement and you walk up to them.

"I love you both." You murmur softly. You hug them one last time and they look up, confused. "I'll see you both one day, I swear."

"I'm so sorry, Britty," your dad sobs. "I wish I never touched you."

He's saying it to himself mostly, but you're still touched by it. You kiss him on the cheek. "Goodbye, daddy and mommy."

You walk back to Santana. She takes your hand and holds it.

"Brittany Pierce, I love you," she repeats.

A bright light shines in front of you two.

Santana turns to you and holds both of your hands in each of her own. She looks into your cerulean eyes with her mocha brown ones and you fall in love with her all over again.

"No matter how many times I was offered to go into the light, I never went," she admits sadly. "I was waiting for you. I love you so much that it hurts, Brittany. I could never exist without you."

"I love you too, Santana." You smile at her. "I have waited my whole life for you."

"I have died everyday waiting for you," she murmurs.

You share another passionate kiss before walking, hand in hand, towards the blissful white light.

You are completely, utterly in love with Santana Lopez. And you can't do a thing about it, because for all eternity, you swear to love Santana with all your heart.

Because Santana is your angel, your saving grace.

As the warmth of the light surrounds you, you lean in and capture her lips.

You don't know where you're going, but you know that, as long as Santana is with you, you're safe and happy.

* * *

**Not my best work, but hey I'm in a gloomy mood so this is what happened lol  
**

**Please review! xoxo**


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